Pamela Anderson has recalled losing trust in adults after experiencing sexual abuse as a young girl.
The 55-year-old former "Baywatch" star looked back on these experiences in her interview for People's cover story this week. She told the outlet that she wrote much of her upcoming memoir, "Love, Pamela," from her grandparents' former farmhouse on Vancouver Island, not far from the home she grew up in. There, she recalled her experiences as a young girl.
"I do feel like I've definitely figured out who I'm not over a lifetime and now I'm remembering who I am," Anderson said. "And who that little girl was before anything happened to her."
Anderson described her younger self as someone who liked "bugs and snakes and nature and climbing trees" before she lost her trust in adults after she was molested at a young age.
"In my case it was a female babysitter who sexualized me very early, forcing me to play weird games on her body," Anderson revealed. "She threatened me not to tell anyone. Or else."
She explained, "I was trying to protect my brother. I didn't want it happening to him, so I would do things so she wouldn't touch him. And that's where it all unraveled. I was very ashamed. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't know what to do."
Anderson also said that at around 12 or 13, she was raped by a man who was 10 years older than she was. She did not tell anybody about it, either.
"Part of me just gave up. That was kind of another nail in the coffin," she divulged.
Her self-esteem was reportedly affected because of these negative experiences.
"I never thought I was pretty," she admitted. "I always thought I was athletic and funny. It kind of catered to my insecurities and probably because of my early sexualization and my shame about it all, I didn't want to feel that way. I didn't like that I had any kind of qualities that were attracting the wrong kind of attention."
But Anderson said the ordeal helped her gain the strength she needed to survive adult life. Her private videos with her ex-husband Tommy Lee would later get stolen and leaked in the 90s. She said she has never watched the tape to this day because "it was very hurtful."
Anderson's memoir and the new Netflix documentary, "Pamela, A Love Story," will both be released on Jan. 31.